Victoria Sapientes Elegit the minimalist blog by syarif

There are a lot of choices for any human being to pick when it comes to handling stress.

Some sing.

Some eat.

Some go around and yell at people.

Some throw things.

Some resolve to violence.

I used to pick the choices above.
Besides singing, I have vowed to stay away from those choices. It was one of my silent resolution.

But I admit that I have lost it, particularly the throwing and yelling part. Honestly I can't remember when was the last time I throw things out of stress and/or anger, but I'm pretty sure that I did in the past 12 months.

Yelling, somehow I can't help it. I lost it last February, on the least day, and to the least person that I wanted it to happen. I'm very sorry. I still have issues with myself and I'm struggling my arse off to solve it.

Just now, I almost do that again. Perhaps my voice did rise a bit, but thank god it was not actually "yelling".

But please, as much as I want to please everyone, I do want to make myself happy too. Sometimes not talking about things would be much better. I know I'm like the most difficult person to talk to. I know I'm the most stubborn people in 6000 miles radius. But, hey, give me a break. I can't afford a shrink to help me. I'm doing it solely with self-help pep talk.

Along the lines perhaps it may sound truly unfair, but I am changing myself. I want to change.
In order for me to avoid conflict (at least for now) I prefer just to stay utter silent. I would prefer just to mum the word.

Thanks.

P/s: I noticed that I may react better when I write or type. Perhaps that's the better way to talk to me when I'm stressed or when you think the topic that's gonna be brought up is stressful.

God bless everyone.


Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device via Vodafone-Celcom Mobile.